I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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