Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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