its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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