He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
