is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
