if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
