Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
