Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
