What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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