I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
