I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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