too bad you live with your parents still
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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