you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
