shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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