I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
