I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
