I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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