My liver just broke up with me...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
