well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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