I just cut my nipple shaving
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
