Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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