I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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