Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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