Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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