just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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