i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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