Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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