I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
