..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
