I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
