Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
