One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
