he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
