I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
