I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
