Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm like, not good at living.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
