What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
