I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
