i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
