dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
