I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
