marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
