do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
