There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
