Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
