Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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