You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
