The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
