Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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