You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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