uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize