i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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